


I Have Loved You From The First

by LeoLynx



Category: Natasha Pierre and the Great Comet of 1812 - Malloy, Voyná i mir | War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
Genre: Death, F/F, F/M, Lemon, Lesbian, Smut, Suicide, affair
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-04-14
Packaged: 2021-02-24 17:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22321534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeoLynx/pseuds/LeoLynx
Summary: When Elena and Marya met, they couldn’t help but fall for each other. However, who would have known that their love would have lead to the demise of Pierre Bezukhov.
Relationships: Fyodor "Fedya" Ivanovich Dolokhov/Elena "Hélène" Vasilyevna Kuragina, Marya Dmitryevna Akhrosimova/Elena "Hélène" Vasilyevna Kuragina, Pyotr "Pierre" Kirillovich Bezukhov & Elena "Hélène" Vasilyevna Kuragina
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. An Angel, A Goddess, A Gift From Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena and Marya meet at Elena’s wedding, and they both realized that they had something in common.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So this is my first time writing a fan fiction, so keep that in mind as you read this because it’s probably not very good XD feedback is appreciated and i’ll will try to update somewhat regularly with more chapters, and so far i’m thinking there will be about 8? chapters...?

It was the night of her wedding, but she didn’t feel happy or excited. Countess Elena Bezukhova, as was now her title, was standing next to her newly wed husband, Count Pyotr Bezukhov. Now, Elena had never really considered what she thought to be her ‘type,’ but she knew that Pyotr wasn’t it. Her father, Prince Vassily, had arranged this marriage for one of two reasons: Pyotr, or Pierre, which was his nickname, was wealthy and would do well for his daughter, and he also was very kind. Well, during the couple of times Elena and Pierre had met prior to their wedding, Elena could tell that her and Pierre would not be a perfect match in any sense. First of all, he was a considerable amount of years older than her. He was short and stocky, and if it wasn’t for his such expensive and delicate clothes, you would have thought him to be a poor man. His hair was at most unkept, long and greasy. His beard was just the same. Pierre was very introverted, and he liked to read and study, all of which Elena despised. She was a free spirit, she liked to go out to clubs and be social. Why, she’d rather do anything else that sit at home and read. Elena had not wanted to get married at all, she would much rather be single, to tell the truth. And yet, here she was, standing next to him at their wedding reception, the weight of the considerably heavy wedding ring weighing on her conscience. Her extravagant lifestyle had just come to an end.

Well, Pierre had slipped away to talk to someone he knew, leaving Elena standing alone next to a table, absentmindedly swirling her champagne around in her glass. Now, let me describe her appearance, quite en contraire to Pierre’s. Elena was wearing a gorgeous white wedding dress, which complemented her tanned skin nicely. It had long, off the shoulder sleeves and a low neckline. The bottom of the dress had a trim of lace, and she wore a pearl choker necklace and matching earrings. Her hair was in a fancy bun, with a few loose curls framing her face. A string of pearls adorned her bun as well. She looked absolutely beautiful, and yet here she was, sulking alone at her wedding. Well, her mood was about to change.

Pierre suddenly approached her, “Elena! I want to introduce you to my good ol’ friend, Marya Dmitryevna,” she looked up from her glass and almost choked on the champagne when she saw who was in front of her. There was Marya, An angel. A goddess. A gift from heaven. The most beautiful woman Elena had ever seen. Pierre kept talking but Elena didn’t hear a word. Here was Marya, a women who looked to be slightly older than Elena, and was wearing a scarlet red dress that had intricate gold embroidery on the bodice and along the trim. She had wavy auburn hair that was also tied up in an exquisite style. And you could just about get lost in her eyes. They were a deep and enchanting emerald green. Her skin was very soft and pale, almost glowing. Well, Elena caught herself staring and shook back a little, as someone else started talking to Pierre.

Marya and Elena stood in silence for a good minute, before Marya curtsied, “Good evening, Countess,” She said with a friendly smile. You see, you’d never guess it, but one of the reasons that Elena didn’t want to get married was because she was a lesbian. She’d known she was into woman for a while now, and she’d spent some good long nights thinking hard about it, scared of what would become of her if anyone found out. So she pretended to be straight, and she was a damn good actress, too. She became known as a slut. She’d flirt with and seduce men at the clubs all the time. No one would think twice about Elena’s sexuality, she was obviously straight. She’d gotten so good at pretending, she started to question if she actually was straight. But then, some pretty woman would walk by and send her crashing back down to her reality.

She took Marya’s hand into her own and said, “It’s nice to meet you, Marya,” and without thinking, she kissed her hand. When she looked up and saw her lipstick on Marya’s hand, she realized what she’d done and her face went almost as red as Marya’s dress. “I-oh my God i’m so sorry, I don’t know what i was thinking,” Usually, Elena is never awkward around when it comes to this type of thing, but she’d never flirted with a woman before, and she cursed herself for being such a fool.

Now Marya, however, was in the same boat as Elena. When she first saw her, her heart just about stopped, because _damn_ she was beautiful. When she kissed her hand, Marya felt herself melting. Her warm, soft lips gently caressing her hand, and lingering a moment longer than necessary.Marya managed to smile and say, “It’s ok, really,” with a little laugh. They stood in awkward silence for a moment, when Elena broke the ice.

“So, how long have you known Pierre?” Elena started.

“Quite a long time. I actually grew up but a few houses down from him, and our parents would get together sometimes for dinner. Over the years we stayed in touch with each other.” Marya said. Elena noticed the way Marya moved when she spoke, and the way her face changed. She’d never noticed these type of things with the men she’d been with.

“Mmm,” Elena hummed, satisfied.

“You know, over the past few weeks, he’s talked quite a bit about you,” Marya said. This actually shocked Elena.

“Really?” She raised a brow.

“Really.” Marya said, “He kept saying how excited he was that he was going to be marrying a woman as beautiful as you, which, to be perfectly honest, made me kinda excited to meet you,” Marya’s voice was low and sensual, and Elena thought she saw Marya wink, but she could have just as easily imagined it. Elena couldn’t believe her ears, Marya was flirting with her just as shamelessly as she was. However, hearing that about Pierre made her feel like a real jerk. He loved her, truly loved her, and knowing that she wouldn’t be able to show him the same type of love back actually hurt her.

But Elena didn’t focus on that for long, she couldn’t with Marya gazing into her eyes. She blushed a bit, but regained her smoothness, “I didn’t disappoint you, now, did I, ma chérie?” Her voice was silky, and she bit her lip. Now, she knew she was treading in dangerous waters flirting with her husband’s friend only a few hours after she’d gotten married, but Marya seemed to be into it, and Elena could shake the thought that she’d found someone like her.

“Definitely not,” Marya replied, her mouth opening slightly as she gazed up and down Elena’s body. The sexual tension between the two was getting so thick, you could have seen it in the air. Elena thanked god that Pierre wasn’t around to witness this encounter.

Elena then started up conversation again, “So, are you here with your husband?” She asked, half of her just wanting to make small talk, while the other half actually curious. They way Marya had been responding to her (not so subtle) flirting had got Elena’s hopes up that maybe they had something in common. 

Marya lowered her head slightly, and her expression turned to a somewhat sombre one, “Well, actually, i’m not married.” She paused momentarily, and her voice sounded fragile, “I-I lost my husband to the war.”

“I’m so sorry,” Elena said, regretting she had asked, not wanting to remind Marya of such times.

“It’s fine. I mean it was a traumatic experience, but neither of us loved each other.”Marya said with a sigh, “I only married him because of my parents.”

“Hah, that makes two of us,” Elena said without thinking.

“Y-you don’t love Pierre?” Marya asked, kinda shocked.

Elena sighed, realizing she shouldn’t have said that to Pierre’s best friend. “I’m just not the marrying type,” She recovered as best as she could, “I don’t wanna be tied down, or at least not yet.”

“Well,” Marya said, “I think you’ll learn to love Pierre. He’s really smart and kind, I don’t think he’d hurt even a fly.”

Elena laughed, “That’s good,”

The two continued talking for sometime. Suddenly, Marya’s tone changed, and there was a flash of something undefinable in Marya’s eyes, “Elena?” she said, her voice sounded breathy, vulnerable even.

“Yes?” Elena responded hopefully. They stood staring at each other for a moment, before Marya quickly grabbed Elena’s arm and whisked her out of the ballroom and into the hallway, where she pinned her up against the wall and passionately kissed her.

Now, Elena was probably more turned on than she’d ever been in her life. She immediately responded to the kiss, wrapping her arms around Marya’s waist, pulling her closer to her. Marya had her hands on Elena’s shoulders, slowly running them down her arms, to her hands, and stopping once she felt Elena’s wedding ring; a reminder that she should 100% _not_ be doing this. She pulled back quickly, breathing heavily and bringing her hands to her head.

“Oh my God, what did I just do?” Marya’s voice was barely audible.

Elena was just left speechless. She had never been kissed by a woman before, and, despite what she may have thought before, there was no doubt that she was into girls. Elena was now leaning against the wall, managing to look sexy as hell. “Marya,” She said, her voice low and raspy, in a way that sent chills down Marya’s spine. She reached out to grab her hand, but Marya pulled back.

“No!” Marya looked terrified. Elena couldn’t help but feel bad for her, “I-I can’t...I” Marya looked like she was about to have a panic attack.

“Hey! Marya, it’s ok, just breathe,” Elena delicately put her hands on her shoulders, and this time Marya didn’t back away. Instead, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“All my life,” Marya started slowly, voice shaky, “I have tried to hide this...these _feelings_ I have. I-I never knew what to do about it.” She laughed a little, “And now look at me, I just...kissed you...on your wedding night...when you’re marrying my best friend. If that isn’t messed up than i don’t know what is.” She turned around and started mumbling to herself, “I’m a terrible person, I’m gonna go to hell, I’m gonna die, I’m a sinner.”

“Hey,” Elena said with force, “Don’t you dare talk about yourself like that.”

“But it’s _true!_ ” Marya yelled, but then realized she was yelling and lowered her voice to a harsh whisper, “I’ve tried _so_ hard to let go of these feelings and...and try to be _normal._ And I was doing a damn good job at it too, until you-”

“Marya.” Elena interrupted, her voice sweet again, “Don’t deny yourself your needs.” She walked over to Marya, who had turned back around to look at her.

“But it’s wrong,” Marya said.

“Shh,” Elena shushed her, putting her finger up to her lip. Then, with a whisper, said, “How it’s wrong to be yourself?” Marya didn’t know how to respond to that; she had a valid point. Elena continued, “You cannot control who you are attracted to, you just can’t. It is in no way a fault of yours.”

“I-I guess...” Marya was still reluctant.

“Humor me for a moment, Marya,” Elena said, taking a step back. “You and your husband had slept together before, i’d assume?”

“Elena!” Marya gasped in shock, “That’s none of your business!”

“But you have, haven’t you?” She asked, raising her brow. 

“...Yes,” Marya mumbled, fumbling with her hands.

“Did you enjoy it?”

“Elena, Where are you going with this?”

“Just, answer it. Did you find pleasure in having sex with him?” Elena asked plainly.

“I don’t know.” Marya sighed, “It wasn’t an unforgettable experience, but it wasn’t bad.”

“Would you do it again with another man?”

“Honestly, probably not,” Marya answered.

“Ok, now, imagine having sex with a woman. It doesn’t have to be me. It doesn’t have to be anyone in particular. Just a beautiful woman in bed with you,” Elena watched closely to see how Marya would react to what she was saying. “Imagine her slowly run her hands along your waist,” She said, doing just that to Marya, which elicited a small moan out of her. Elena smirked, “And she starts undoing your dress,” She traced circles in Marya’s back, working her was up to her neck and grabbed a hold of the buttons to start undoing her dress. Marya shivered. Elena planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Elena,” Marya said, breathing heavily.

“I want you, Marya. Really badly,” Elena didn’t have to say that, Marya could tell by the look in her eyes. Lucky for her, Marya was starting to get pretty desperate. Desperate for someone to touch her, kiss her, please her. Marya was past the point of no return, and despite how wrong her mind told her this was, she’s wanted this for far too long, and she let her desire take over.

“Take me, please,” she whispered into Elena’s ear.

That was all it took for Elena to snap. Once finally getting the validation she wanted, she didn’t hold back any. She violently crashed her lips against Marya’s, moaning quite loudly, before slowly pulling away. “There’s a guest room around the corner, we can go in there because in case people _are_ looking for me, they’d never check there,” Elena said in one quick breath. Marya just nodded in agreement. Elena grabbed her hand and led her to the room. Once inside, she immediately closed the door and pinned Marya up against it, kissing her violently once again. Elena bent down, pulling Marya with her so their lips wouldn’t break contact, and lifted up Marya’s skirt. She started massaging Marya’s bare thigh, her hand traveling up. Marya whimpered when she touched her wet panties, and she wrapped her leg around Elena’s. Elena delicately pulled Marya’s panties down, deciding that there wasn’t enough time to get fully undressed, and led her to the bed.

Marya lied down on the bed, her skirts hiked up to her waist. Elena crawled on top of her and pushed her thighs opened with her hands. “Oh god...” Marya moaned as her fingers reached her sensitive spot. Elena started with slow, gentle finger movements, then eventually working her up until Marya was writhing and squirming beneath her. “Ohhh Elena!” she cried between panting breaths, “Ahh yes i’m-ohh,” Elena knew that Marya was close, and she felt a little mischievous and wanted to tease Marya some more. “Faster!” Marya cried as her hips bucked upwards and she gripped the sheets, but Elena did just the opposite. she decreased the speed of her fingers. “W-what?” Marya said breathily, “Elena, what are you doing?” She propped herself up on her elbows and gave Elena a pleading look. However, Elena had her usual sensual smirk on her face.

“Marya, darling,” Elena said, tracing small, slow circles in her clitoris, “you’re so close,” she kissed her on the neck, then her breast, and then sucked on her nipple before her fingers came to a complete stop.

“Oh, please! Elena! Please! Touch me! Now!” Marya was frantic. “I’m so close, I need you!”

“Hmm, I don’t know...” Elena teased, pulling away from her.

“You’re terrible,” Marya hissed through gritted teeth.

“I’ve been told,” Elena winked.

“ _Touche-moi, maintenant, Elena, S'il te plaît_ ,” Marya moaned low and desperately in Elena’s ear.

“Si vous insistez,” Elena shrugged teasingly, but instead of resuming where she left off with her fingers, she went down on Marya with her tongue and licked her overly sensitive pussy.

“AHH!” that was all it took to get Marya to climax. She was so close when Elena was fingering her, that when she felt her wet tongue lick her most intimate place, she came almost instantly. She threw her head back into the pillow and arched her back, her whole body tingling with pleasure. Elena continue to explore Marya with her tongue as she came down from her orgasm. Marya was panting heavily. She felt absolutely wonderful. She felt as though all was right in the world, and she could just lay here for the rest of her life. “Holy s-shit, that was...I...”

“Speechless?” Elena asked jokingly, to which Marya punched her arm playfully. She grabbed Elena’s waist and flipped her around so that she was on top.

“It’s your turn now, Countess,” Marya said sensually.

“Oh, you don’t have t-ohhh,” Elena started to protest, but Marya touched her the same way she had just touched Marya, and Elena couldn’t help but moan. “Fuck,” She closed her eyes, “Mmmm,” Marya rubbed her faster. However, that was about all that Marya had got, and Elena liked it rough. _I’m gonna have a lot to teach her,_ she thought to herself. Elena gave her credit, though, because she knew that Marya had no idea what she was doing.“Marya, go inside me, please,” she commanded. Marya started with one finger, swirling it around her entrance, teasing her like how she’d been teased. Elena could hardly take it, and she realized how cruel it was to tease Marya like that. “Now!” She panted desperately. Marya sucked and bit Elena’s neck vigorously, and put her finger inside her. “Ohh,” Elena moaned, and thrusted her hips against Marya’s hand. Marya kept moving her finger inside of her. “More!” She told her. Marya did just that, and put two more fingers inside her. “Yess,” Elena cried, feeling the pressure in her abdomen building up rapidly. Marya fingered her faster, pounding harder and harder into her. Elena could feel her orgasm coming, and she moaned in rhythm to Marya’s thrusts. Marya felt Elena’s vaginal walls contract against her fingers, and she wiggled them around inside of her, which caused Elena to cry out sharply in pleasure as she came. She grabbed Marya’s head and started making out with her. “That was amazing,”

The two of them lied in bed and kissed for a while, before deciding that they should go back to the wedding party. They looked in the mirror and realized how disheveled they looked. Marya’s intricate hair style was basically destroyed, and she scrambled to redo it. Both of them had lipstick smeared across their faces, and Elena’s eyes widened when she noticeably large sized hickey on the left side of her neck. “Umm, Marya,” She said, her voice shaking, “When did you give me this?” she pointed to the hickey. Marya looked up from the mirror and gasped when she saw what she’d done.

“Oh my god, I-I’m so sorry, I wasn’t thinking,” Marya cursed herself. There was no way for Elena to hide this one, given that her dress left her neck wide open.

“There’s not any makeup in here, is there?” Elena looked around, but of course, there wasn’t, because this was a spare room. “I-It’s ok, i’ll just sneak up to my room and get some,”

They made the bed and fixed up the room, along with making themselves as presentable as they could, and exited the room slowly, making sure no one was outside. Once they realized they were all clear, Elena told Marya the plan.

“Ok, so i’m gonna go upstairs and cover _this_ up, you go back to the ballroom, and if Pierre asks you where i’ve been, tell him that i wasn’t feeling well and that i’ll be back momentarily,” Elena whispered. “Oh, and Marya? Don’t be a stranger,” She winked, and gave her one last peck on the lips before turning around and heading to her room. Marya was left absolutely stunned and shocked, as she was just now processing what had just happened between them. She had let Elena Bezukhova have sex with her _on her wedding night._ And she wanted it just as badly as Elena did! Marya tried to hold back tears, but couldn’t stop herself from crying. Crying over the fact that she was naïve enough to let Elena convince her that this was ok, but also crying over the fact that she knew she _should_ never do this again, despite what Elena had said, and despite how good she made her feel. From now on, Marya decided that she would be a new person. She would dedicate her life to god. God would give her advice on what to do. She would hide her feelings towards women forevermore, and decided that she wasn’t going to marry any other man either. First thing tomorrow morning, she would go straight to the church and pray that the Lord would forgive her.

Meanwhile, as Elena was headed to her room, she was stopped by a familiar voice calling her, “Elena! There you are, where have you been?” She felt her heart stop, _it was Pierre._ Elena dared not turn around and face him, he’d see the hickey. She didn’t know what to do, and Pierre sensed that silence wasn’t a good answer, “Are you ok?” He grabbed her hand, and she looked the other way.

“Pierre, leave me alone for a few minutes, please,” She said with a clenched jaw.

“But, I’ve _been_ alone for the past hour, I was starting to get worried about you,” Elena’s face turned pale, _had she really been with Marya for a whole hour?_

“I’m just wasn’t feeling very well, but i’ll meet you in the ballroom in ten minutes?” She stated, but it sounded more like a question. She still refused to look at him.

Pierre hesitated, “Ok, just as long as you’re feeling better for tonight,” He said with a smirk as he kissed her on the cheek. He walked away after that. Elena brought her hands to her mouth as she realized that she still had to sleep with him tonight. She ran upstairs to her room and sat down at her vanity, failing to fight back tears. She wished that she never married Pierre. She wished that she could pursue Marya completely. She wished that she didn’t have to keep her identity a secret. But as she was concealing her hickey, she couldn’t help but smile at the thought that soon, her and Marya would be able to do it all again.


	2. The Opera Is A Magical Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After three years of not seeing each other, Marya and Elena meet again at the opera.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you to everyone who’s read the first chapter. I will try to update maybe every 1-2 weeks, because I am kinda busy right now. 
> 
> DISCLAMERS:  
> 1\. I have not read War and Peace, and all of my knowledge is coming from Great Comet. So some of the characters may have different personalities and react to things differently than they do in the book, and I am kinda taking my own spin on things. 
> 
> 2\. I also do not speak French, so anytime a character speaks French in this series I have used a translator, so hopefully it makes sense. 
> 
> *TW*: talk of slight abuse/abusive relationship

Well, three years had past since Elena and Pierre’s wedding, and Marya and Elena had both changed a lot during that time. Marya had kept steady on her promise to herself. She prayed long and hard about her feelings, and came to the conclusion that she must never see Elena again, and she didn’t. She pushed back all of her feelings, and, despite how numb it made her heart feel, she knew it was the correct thing to do.

Many people said that Marya Dmitryevna had become old-fashioned. Some noticed her change in behavior. She acted proper now; more tense, in a way. She went to less parties, and didn’t dare to go to the clubs. The new Marya would never in a hundred years do what the old her had done just three years ago. The memory of that life-changing day repulsed her. She refused to let on that that was the same person, because it _wasn’t_ , That version of Marya was dead. She refused to associate herself in any way with Elena; not wanting to fall for one of her ‘tricks’ again. But it was hard at first. She craved so badly the touch and caress of Elena’s soft hands. But the longer she went without seeing her, the less she missed her.

Elena had changed quite a bit during those three years as well. She realized not too long into their marriage that Pierre was not as kind and loving as her father and Marya had painted him out to be. He was a terrible alcoholic, and when he drank, which was almost every night, he became violent, throwing out insults and punches left and right at Elena. She dreaded being at home because of him, so her, her brother Anatole, and his friend Fyodor Dolokhov would go out to the clubs almost every night, which only worsened Elena’s reputation. She was never seen in public with her husband, which stirred up quite a bit of gossip among the population of Moscow, and frankly, Elena didn’t care at this point.

But despite all this, Elena never forgot about Marya. She wrote her letters often at first, but gave up when she never got a response back. She was terribly hurt and confused as to why Marya was ignoring her. It broke her heart to think about it. She would have never expected Marya to be the type of person abandon her after they had shared what was probably the best night of Elena’s life. She didn’t want her to be just another hookup. Marya was so much better than that.

Elena also learned quickly that sleeping with Pierre was very unsatisfying. She won’t deny that she is a woman with a lot of needs, and, since Marya seemed to be missing in action, she resorted to men at the clubs again. Although, once Anatole introduced her to Fyodor, she became mostly exclusive to just him. Her and Fedya were a pretty good match; he was very handsome, which was definitely a plus, and he knew how to deliver exactly what Elena wanted. Fedya was the first man that Elena had actually felt romantic feelings for. All the men she’d been with at the clubs were just for her pleasure. Fedya was different. He actually cared about her, and Elena really appreciated that.

Well, Marya’s goddaughters Natalya and Sofia Rostova had come to stay with her for a few months. They were cousins. Both of them had never been to Moscow before, and were just in awe of how big and beautiful it is. Natasha had begged Marya on many different occasions to take them to see Moscow’s famous opera. “I’ve heard that the opera is a magical place,” she would always say.

Marya always said no, partially because she knew that Natasha wouldn’t like it, but more so because she knew that a certain someone whom she was desperately trying to avoid frequently went to the opera. However, she eventually gave in, and agreed to take them.

Once they arrived at the opera, Marya wasted no time getting them to their seats, out of fear that she’d see Elena. She heaved a sigh of relief when she’d made it to her seat without spotting her. _She must not be here tonight,_ Marya thought to herself. However, she made a deadly mistake of turning around and looking up to one of the boxes, where, lo and behold, there sat Elena. ‘Of course, she’s sitting in a box,’ Marya thought to herself and rolled her eyes. The two made direct eye contact, and Marya felt like things were going in slow motion. She had almost forgotten how god damn beautiful Elena was. She was wearing an extremely low cut black dress, which displayed much of her cleavage, and an emerald green lacy shawl. She had an extensive amount of jewelry and beads on as well. When Marya looked into her eyes once again, the memories from that god forsaken night came flooding back to her mind, but yet she couldn’t look away.

Elena had been scanning the theater, not looking for anyone in particular, just looking, when she spotted Marya watching her. Elena felt like her heart might explode after finally seeing her again. “Oh my god,” She mumbled to herself in unbelief. 

Anatole, who was sitting next to her, heard her. “What?” he asked. But Elena didn’t respond, she just kept her gaze with Marya as if her life depended on it. Her jaw dropped slightly, and she raised her brow and nodded her head upward, signaling for Marya to come up by her.

Marya pursed her lips together and glanced over at Natasha and Sonya, who didn’t seem to notice what she was doing. Still, Marya turned back to Elena and shook her head ‘no.’ Elena glared at Marya and nodded her head while mouthing ‘come here, now.’

Anatole had been watching this whole encounter, and he was quite confused. “Elena what are you doing? Who is that?”

“Nobody,” Elena snapped at him.

Marya finally gave in, and turned to look at Natasha and Sonya, “Hey, i’m gonna go talk to an old friend, I-I’ll be back shortly,” She couldn’t believe she was doing this, she hated herself for doing this. But she told herself that nothing was going to happen, they were just going to talk. She assumed Elena needed closure, considering that Marya basically left her hanging for three years. She stood up and gave Elena a wary look, then started walking up the aisle toward her box.

“Anatole, get out,” Elena stood up and walked toward the back of the box, gesturing for him to leave.

“Woah,” Anatole smirked at her, “Lena I think that’s more than a _nobody_ ,” Elena opened the curtain and led Anatole out of public view and into the back of the box.

“Anatole I swear to god,” She hissed at him, her face laced with a grave expression. “Get out, and don’t come back until the show starts. Go find Fedya.”

But Anatole had already cracked the code. “Elena...” He said suspiciously, his mouth curling into a grin, “You little whore. Is there anyone you won’t seduce?”

“Yeah, Pierre,” She said, her face softening a bit momentarily. Anatole couldn’t help but laugh at that, “But seriously, if you tell anyone about this, especially Fedya, I’ll kill you.”

“Wow, Lena, really? You’re cheating on the guy you’re cheating on your husband with, with a woman. That’s shallow, even for you.” Anatole said with disapproval.

“Look, i don’t care what you think at the moment, you need to get out of here, please,” She said, glancing toward the door with a desperate pleading look in her eyes.

Anatole sighed, “Fine, but just because I love you.”

Elena hugged him, “Thank you so much,” she whispered into his ear.

Just as Anatole left, Marya entered. However, what Elena didn’t know is that Anatole waited outside the door, eavesdropping. He could hear every word they were saying.

Marya tried to keep herself as unfazed as possible, to show Elena that she wasn’t going to fall for any of her games. “Countess Bezukhova,” Marya spoke harshly.

“Dmitryevna,” Elena said, harsher and with more bitterness than Marya just did.

“What do you want?” Marya asked, although she knew exactly what Elena wanted.

Elena laughed mechanically. A haughty, menacing laugh that put Marya on edge, “You can’t be serious,” she started, and when Marya didn’t respond, she continued, “Marya, do you know what you did to me? You blatantly _ignored_ me. I wrote to you every week for _months_ asking when I’d be able to see you again, and did I ever get a letter in response, _no_. Do you know how _hard_ that was on me? How much grief you put me through?” She grabbed Marya’s hands, but she pushed them away.

“Elena, I’m _not_ looking to restart anything with you at all. I don’t even know why I did what I did with you that night anyways. And I-I’m sorry for not giving you an explanation for why I never responded to your letters, I just...I didn’t know how!I couldn’t keep doing this, Elena, what we did was _wrong_ , and-”

“Then why did it feel so _right_ ,” Elena interrupted, tears starting to form at her eyes. “Marya,” She whispered, and quickly pulled Marya into a kiss so exhilarating, it almost knocked Marya off her feet, and it reminded her of how badly she missed this. The past three years she spent desperately pushing away her feelings meant nothing anymore. Her old, ‘dead’ self was revived, and she didn’t know how to feel about it.

“God _damnit_ Elena, how do you do this to me?!” Marya panicked. “I’ve spent the past _three years_ praying and praying for god to take these feelings _away_. Devoting myself to burying my feelings for you. And you somehow have the capability to bring these feelings back from the dead with _one kiss._ Marya sat down, taking a deep breath and resting her head on her hands. “You know why I ignored you? Because I knew if I continued with this, I wouldn’t be able to face Pierre again. He’s my closest friend, Elena, and I didn’t want to hurt him, which makes me upset when I hear you’re flaunting about with a different man every night. I mean, seriously, do you think you’re too good for him or something?!”

Elena cringed visibly at that last comment. “Marya,” her voice was raspy, “Clearly you haven’t seen Pierre drunk.”

“What do you mean?” Marya asked, her voice growing slightly concerned.

“The man is an alcoholic. He drinks almost every night, I’m surprised he hasn’t drunk himself to death by now.” Elena said, to which Marya gasped, “Anyways, he can get quite...aggressive...when he’s drinking, to put it lightly.” Elena’s eyes had a hint of fear laced in them.

Marya was in disbelief, “Oh, come on, Pierre would never-”

“I have the scars to prove it,” Elena interrupted, her voice trembling ever so slightly. Marya covered her mouth with her hands. Elena moved her hair to reveal a decently sized cut on the base of her hairline. “See this? Pierre threw an empty glass wine bottle across the room at me because I didn’t inform him that we were out of wine.” She laughed a sad laugh, “Like it was my job to tell him that.”

“Elena-,” Marya started to say, but she was interrupted.

“And, he forcefully threw me against the table for no reason.” Elena paused for a moment, “He’s done that many times, actually, under many different circumstances. He’s called me god awful and offensive names, too. Which is why I would rather be anywhere, with *anyone,* as long as i’m not at home with him.”

“I-I don’t know what to say,” Marya said softly.

“ _Don’t_ say anything, to anyone,” Elena warned. “And, for the record, I don’t go out with _a different man every night,_ Marya. Just one man in particular.Despite what you may think, I do know how to restrain myself.”

“No, you don’t, because if you did, you wouldn’t have called _me_ up here.” Marya said.

“I want us to continue where we left off,” Elena said softly. “I want something real between us because... _I love you,_ Marya Dmitryevna.”

Marya suddenly couldn’t breathe. It felt like her world had stopped. No one had said that to her before. She didn’t know what to think of it. She stared into Elena’s eyes. Just then, the lights flickered, signaling that there was five minutes until the show started. Marya brought her hand to Elena’s face and kissed her. It was the most delicate, gentle kiss that either of them had ever experienced, the kind you’d expect would awaken a sleeping princess. She pulled away slowly, never loosing eye contact. “I-I should go...” She said, biting her lip.

“Y-yeah,” Elena said, although she couldn’t disagree more.

Marya slowly turned around and left the box. Elena brought her hand up to touch her still tingling lips. Her face looked like she was going to cry, but she didn’t. She had just told Marya _everything_ , and yet, even though Marya knew how she felt about her, it still felt...frustrating? Elena threw her arms down, “god _damnit_.” She mumbled loudly to herself.

Just then, Anatole and Fedya walked in. Now, unbeknown to Elena, Anatole was listening in on them from the other side of the door, and had heard every word Marya and her had said. However, because he was such a good brother, he didn’t tell any of it to Fedya.

“Everything alright?” Fedya asked, walking over to her.

Elena nodded, “yeah.” Fedya pulled her into a hug.

“Well, shall we go take our seats?” Anatole said dramatically, and once they sat down, he leaned into Elena and said softly, “Pour mémoire, je pense que vous et Dmitryevna feriez une bonne paire.”

Elena gave him a sad smile, “Je ne pense pas qu'elle soit d'accord,”

“And are you ok with that?” Anatole asked. Elena didn’t respond. she just turned her head to the stage and grabbed Fedya’s arm as the opera started.

Meanwhile, across the theater, Marya had returned to her seat next to Natasha and Sonya. “Finally, you’re back. We were beginning to think you abandoned us,” Natasha said jokingly. Marya just rolled her eyes as she sat down and the opera began.

Throughout the whole show, Marya couldn’t stop thinking about Elena, and those two kisses they shared. She’d told herself thousands of times that she was never going to resort back to her again, but that _damn_ kiss had just about changed her mind. The show seemed to last forever to her, and she honestly couldn’t wait for it to be over.

Natasha also was wishing the show would end soon. She was having a hard time understanding the opera, and it was quite boring, actually. So when it finally ended, she was relieved to be going home as well.

On their way out, they ‘just so happened’ to run into Elena. (Marya definitely _didn’t_ time it out so that they’d bump into each other.)

“Countess Bezukhova,” She said cheerfully.

Elena’s heart fluttered, “Marya Dmitryevna, long time no see,” She said, her voice smooth as honey. Anatole and Fedya were standing next to her.

“I don’t believe you’ve met my goddaughters, Natasha and Sonya Rostova,” She gestured to them, and they both curtsied.

“No, I don’t believe I have,” Elena said, “It’s nice to meet you. You both look lovely tonight.”

“Thank you!” They said in unison.

Fedya and Anatole then introduced themselves to the girls, and, when she thought none of them could hear her, Marya leaned in to Elena and whispered, “Meet me at my house tomorrow night at eight,”

Elena could hardly believe her ears. Her jaw dropped slightly and her eyes lit up, “Are you serious?”

Marya responded with a nod and a wink, and then led Natasha and Sonya out of the theater.

Now Anatole, who had overheard their conversation yet again, came up behind Elena and said, “You know what they always say, the opera is a magical place.”

“That it is, Tolya, that it is,” Elena said with a smile on her face as she watched Marya leave.


	3. The Best Night And The Worst Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elena comes over to Marya’s house per her request, and they have an amazing night. However, their night is interrupted by a surprise visitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!TRIGGER WARNING!! Suicide and death occur in this chapter

During the ride back from the opera, Marya couldn’t stop smiling. She’d finally come to terms with who she was, and she was sure that Elena was right: It can’t be a sin to be yourself, and that she shouldn’t deny herself her needs. Marya’s giddy appearance didn’t go unnoticed to her goddaughters, however.

“Marya, you seem...really happy right now,” Sonya said. Marya looked up at her, and Sonya continued, “N-not that that’s a bad thing, it’s just...unusual.”

“What, are you saying that i’m usually not happy?” Marya said with a laugh.

“No! No, it’s just, you seem...o-overly excited,” Sonya fumbled over her words awkwardly. She tried to read Marya’s expression, but she couldn’t get past the smile.

Marya noticed Sonya was staring at her, and she panicked for a moment, for fear that Sonya could see right through her. She absolutely did _not_ want them to find out about her and Elena. No one could find out. Ever.

“Oh, well...” Marya started, but wasn’t quite sure how to continue. “I just really enjoyed the opera.” Lies. This opera was probably the most boring one she’s seen.

“Really?!” Natasha said loudly, “I couldn’t understand a thing! It was so weird and unnatural. I didn’t like it.”

“I guess it requires a specific taste,” Sonya said.

They continued the ride in silence, and Marya started thinking again. It was then that she realized there was a flaw to her and Elena’s plan for tomorrow night. Natasha and Sonya. She had to think of a way to get them out of the house for the night, but without sounding like she wanted them out. And she couldn’t quite think of anything.

Time flew by for Marya, and in no time, it was tomorrow night. Her, Natasha, and Sonya were sitting in the dining room eating dinner. And yet, the girls still had no plans to leave the house. “Hey girls,” Marya started, still unsure of what she was going to say next, “Do you... want to... I don’t know, do something tonight?” She cringed internally.

“Ooh! yes what should we do?!” Natasha said, excitedly sitting up straighter in her chair.

Marya noticed her error, “Well, I-I mean... without me,” She realized how obvious that sounded. “You two should... um, go on a walk or something. The city lights are quite pretty at night.”

“Why aren’t you going to come with us?” Natasha asked.

“Oh, because I have-” Marya started, but was interrupted by Sonya.

“Marya, are you trying to get us out of the hou-” while Sonya was talking, there was a loud knock on the door.

“-Oh! that’s the door! I’ll go see who that could be!” Marya interrupted again. Sonya rose her brow at Marya and gave her a cautious glance, but Marya didn’t give her much notice. Her eyes glanced to the clock. 6:30, it read. _This better not be Elena already,_ she thought to herself.

Of course, it was. Marya opened the door to see Elena standing there, smiling sweetly. She was wearing a glittery green low-cut dress with thin strapped sleeves. Over it she had a big white fur coat. She looked too gaudy for a casual meeting, which Marya knew Sonya would pick up on. Nevertheless, Marya couldn’t help her breath hitch slightly when she saw her. She took a step closer to her.

“You’re early,” Marya said in a sharp whisper, glancing behind herself to make sure Sonya and Natasha didn’t follow her.

“I missed ya,” Elena said with a wink. In one fluid motion, she grabbed the sides of Marya’s face and brought her in to a kiss, to which Marya immediately pulled away.

“Elena!” She scolded. Just then, Anatole step out from behind her.

“Dmitryevna, how’s it hanging?” He said with a smirk. Marya’s eyes widened and she opened her mouth as to respond, but Natasha and Sonya appeared behind them.

“Hey, Marya, who’s at the door?” Natasha asked. The Kuragin siblings pushed past Marya and into the house.

“Natasha, darling, my brother is here to take you and Sonya to the club tonight.” Elena said, her voice as smooth as silk. “We wanted to surprise you two, if, of course, you aren’t busy with anything else.” She glanced at Marya, who gave her a relieved smile.

“I guess we aren’t really doing anything else,” Sonya said, narrowing her eyes at Marya and Elena. “Countess, are you going to be coming with us?”

Elena raised her brow at Sonya, almost daring her to continue. “No, I have to discuss some things with Marya.”

“What kind of things,” Sonya said, taking that dare and raising her brow back at Elena.

“Sonya, that’s none of your business!” Marya interrupted.

“No, no, she wasn’t talking to you, darling.” Elena said to Marya. She then looked back at Sonya, “Let’s just say that Marya has something planned for us as well.” She winked at Sonya, who’s jaw dropped slightly.

“Marya has _what?!_ ” Sonya asked.

Marya’s face was just as red as the dress she had on. She couldn’t believe how bold Elena was being. “No more questions. Anatole...” She looked to him, hinting that they should _leave._

He thankfully got the hint, “Yeah, girls, we should be going, if you want to come with me.”

“We’ll go, we don’t want to get in the way of their _plans._ ” Sonya said flatly. Marya scrunched her face and bit her lip in a sort of panic. She was going to say something, but they were out the door in a hurry.

Marya took a deep breath and turned around, “Elena, _really?!_ ” She said angrily. Elena was leaning against the wall now, her fur coat had dropped off her shoulders and was around her elbows now.

“Ce qui ne va pas, ma chérie,” She said in her usual seductive voice.

“Don’t, just don’t,” Marya said, although she couldn’t help but notice how sexy Elena looked right now.

“Aw, come on Marya,”

“Lena, I didn’t want them to _know_ yet. _Or ever,_ ” Marya hissed.

Elena sauntered over to her. “And they _don’t_ know.” she ran her hands down Marya’s arms.

“Sonya‘s pretty damn close to figuring it out,” Marya said with a frown. Elena brought her hands to the top of Marya’s back and started tracing circles in her back. Marya closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

“Relax, they’ll probably forget about it after they come back from the club,” She said.

“Do you know how much we’re putting at stake here?! If people start to find out, we’ll be ruined. And yet here you are, basically shoving it into the faces of my, very naïve, might I add, goddaughters.” Marya’s voice rose slightly. Elena just sighed as a response. Marya took this as a sign to continue her rant. “I have a reputation to maintain, _ma cherie_ _”_ she said in a mocking tone, “You know, some people actually care about how others view them.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Elena asked, furrowing her brows in slight anger.

“If you wanted people to respect you, and if you don’t want to be the main topic of Anna Pavlovna’s gossip, then you wouldn’t have such blatantly open affairs,” Marya said, crossing her arms.

Elena was starting to get heated, “Marya shut the hell up. Are you seriously telling me this right now?! _You_ invited me over here. If I knew you’d just _judge_ me for my life decisions, I wouldn’t have took you up on your offer.” She contemplated for a moment, “So I think I’m gonna head out,” she said, knowing that Marya would apologize and beg her to stay. As Elena turned toward the door, a slight smirk spread across her face.

“Wait, no, Elena, stay!” Marya said, almost desperately. Elena turned around, her smirk fading to an innocent look.

“You really want me to stay?” She was playing now, her voice a sweet melody to Marya’s ears that Elena _knew_ she couldn’t resist.

“I really do, princess,” Marya walked over to her and grabbed her hands.

“I’m not a princess anymore,” Elena said with a wink. a low growl formed in Marya’s throat and she kissed Elena, almost desperately. Their hands laced together.

Marya then pulled away, “Well, i’ll make you feel like one,” and with that, led her upstairs to her room.

They didn’t waste any time getting upstairs, and as soon as they were, their lips were back on each other’s. Marya slowly inched her hands down Elena’s skirt, hiking it up as she went. She remained contact with Elena’s lips as her hands found her panties and violently took them off of her. She then returned her hand to Elena’s warm private parts and started swirling her finger around her wet folds. She felt Elena’s breath hitch slightly against her lips, and a surprised moan escaped her lips.

Now, Marya hated to admit it, but over the past three years, she had experimented with touching herself. I mean, how couldn’t she. And she had actually learned a lot about what she liked and how to achieve the most pleasure.

As Elena continued to be fingered by Marya, her moans grew slightly louder. Oh, how she had missed Marya’s touch. Even _she_ was shocked at the amount of skill Marya’s fingers had. However, she broke away from Marya’s kiss completely. “If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it the right way.” Her voice was low and seductive.

“What do you mean?” Marya was panting slightly from arousal.

“Anatole will have them out all night, so we have lots of time.” Elena grabbed a hold of Marya’s skirts. “We might as well get _undressed._ ” She said that last part as a whisper in Marya’s ear.

Marya liked the sound of that. They broke away from each other and awkwardly fumbled with their clothes. Once undressed, Elena’s eyes fully took in Marya’s appearance with wonder, lingering on her breasts, which she desperately wanted to touch

“Wow,” Elena sighed, “You’re, um-” Marya blushed at that.

“I’m what,” Marya asked, grabbing Elena by the waist.

“You’re gorgeous,” She said.

“Quit flattering me and _take me._ ” Marya rasped. Elena pushed her onto the bed and viciously made out with her. Her hands roaming freely along her breasts, and her lips made their way across them as well. Between moans, Marya’s fingers found their way to Elena’s clit and started massaging it. She couldn’t help but let out a sharp moan at the touch.

“Ohh my god, Marya,” Elena panted. She felt herself succumbing to Marya’s touch, and absentmindedly rolled off of her, letting Marya be on top. Marya smirked at Elena’s sudden loss of dominance.

“Wow, how the tables have turned,” Marya said with a laugh. Elena just moaned in response, and Marya’s fingers explored the rest of her sensitive area, occasionally going in and out of her.

Elena was practically frantic. She didn’t know why she was getting so worked up already, Marya had barely even begun, and yet she felt like her orgasm

was seconds away. “Marya, fuck!” And then her fingers curl in such a way inside of her that cause Elena to become undone with a scream. While she came Marya’s fingers sped up, heightening her pleasure even more, and making her scream louder. Elena threw her head back and clenched her eyes shut. Her whole body felt a new, indescribable pleasure. When she finally came down from her high, she stared at Marya, jaw dropping in disbelief.

“How the _fuck_ did you do that?!”Elena asked, “Holy shit, Marya, I’ve never felt like that before.”

Marya sat up, licking her fingers, “I’m glad you’re pleased, darling,” She said, with a seductive look on her face.

“oh _shut up,_ ” Elena said, lightly smacking her. They laid there for a few minutes cuddling, before Marya rolled off the bed, “Hey, where you going?” Elena turned to face her.

Marya grabbed her robe, “Oh, I’m gonna go grab us some drinks from downstairs, i’ll be back in a minute,” She winked.

“Ok, I’ll be here,” Elena struck a dramatic, sexy pose, which made Marya laugh.

Marya walked down the stairs, and started heading for the kitchen when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart stopped for a moment, _who the hell could that be, why would someone come over now?_ She thought of Elena upstairs and hope that whoever it was wouldn’t take too long. Marya opened the door and her face went white when she saw who was there.

There stood Pierre Bezukhov. He did not look like he was in good shape; his hair was greasy and extremely messy, he was wearing an old, stained shirt, and his eyes looked like he hadn’t slept in years. Although Marya didn’t look much better, given the circumstances.

“P-Pierre,” she said with disbelief, “W-what are you doing here?” Her voice was shaking.

“Marya...I-I don’t know what to do,” He said, looking past her into her house.

“What do you mean?” She said, blocking the doorway to prevent him from coming in.

“I’m coming to you as a last resort, I-I can’t do this anymore,” He looked down at his feet.

“Pierre, nows _really_ not a good time, I’m pretty busy at the moment, so, how about you come back tomorrow-”

“You don’t look busy,” He gestured to her robe she was wearing. Marya cursed herself and bit her lip. _Yeah, well I just passionately made love to your wife not even five minutes ago,_ she thought to herself.

“Well, I am, actually, so,”

“Everything in my life has turned to _shit_ , I have no purpose anymore.” He sounded hopeless and Marya felt slightly bad for him. “I get yelled at for being a drunkard. My wife, hah, I don’t even know where she is right now.” Marya’s face flushed, and she glanced behind herself in fear that Elena would walk down the stairs.

“Pierre-”

“She’s probably off with another man. God, she’ll get it when she comes home.” His eyes were filled with anger.

“N-no,” Marya’s voice shook slightly, “Don’t take your anger out on her-”

“And why not, Marya, she’s the cause of all my anger.” He was almost yelling, and Marya prayed that Elena couldn’t hear. “You know, while we’ve been married, she’s cheated on me way more times than i can count to _while sober._ ”

“Is that what this is about, you’ve come over here to rant to me about your wife’s life choices?” Marya was starting to get impatient.

“No, i came over here for you to talk some sense into me before in run into your kitchen, grab a knife, and stab myself,”

“Pyotr don’t you dare joke like that,” Marya gave him a cold stare.

“I’m not joking, Marya.”

Marya stood there, eyes wide, mouth open, unsure what to say to him. He’d been a close friend of hers for a long time, but for some reason right now she felt like she despised him. Maybe it was the way Elena persuaded her that he was bad, or maybe she had finally come to her senses about him. Although, she could understand where she was coming from, Elena did treat him like shit as well. She felt pity for both of them.

Just then, _of course,_ at that moment, Elena had to walk down the stairs, wearing one of Marya’s short, lacy nightgowns. “Darling, what’s taking you so long?” She said sensually, “I’m-” she looked up and her eyes opened wide, “oh my god,” she whispered.She froze and her face went bright red when she saw Pierre was at the door.

Marya closed her eyes and pursed her lips together, slowly turning around to face her. Pierre stood there in utter shock.

“Hélène,” He said softly, taking a deep breath, “What... the hell... are you doing here?” He spoke through gritted teeth and pushed past Marya to enter the house.

“I could ask you the same god damn question, Pierre,” Her voice raised with anger.

He then turned to address Marya, “Marya _why_ is she in your house? A-And why is she wearing...” He stopped talking and took a moment to take in both of their appearances. Elena was standing on the stairs, her arms folded across her stomach. The nightgown that she had chosen from Marya’s closet was white with red lace on the trim, and a low neckline. Marya hadn’t worn that one in a _long_ time, and she almost forgot she had it. He then looked to Marya, whose eyes were full of fear and guilt, and then noticed that both of their hair was messed up, and if he looked close he could tell that Elena’s makeup was smudged. “...Holy shit,” he mumbled.

Marya was quick to intervene, “Pierre, it’s not-” she reached for his arm, but he pushed her away.

“It’s not what it looks like?! Well, then, _please_ explain to me what you two were doing here!” Pierre yelled.

No one moved or responded to Pierre for a couple moments. Neither Marya or Elena knew what to say. Elena had been in this situation many times before, but that was when she’d hook up with _men_ from the clubs. They had no real connection to her. She was always able to keep her cool and was good at maneuvering her way through his anger with her words. But this was different. Everything about this situation was different. She was completely at a loss for words, and felt like she might cry.

Pierre took this silence as a confirmation to his suspicion. He shook his head and let out a laugh in disbelief. “I can’t believe this,” He was dumbfounded. “Hélène-” She winced slightly at the use of her nickname, “-you’re a _fucking whore,_ ” He spat those words at her. Tears starting to run down her cheeks. “I’m _ashamed_ to be married to you. I’m _embarrassed_ and sick of you ruining my reputation!” He didn’t sound as angry as Marya expected, but also this wasn’t the first time he’d come across his wife and one of her lovers. Normally Elena would be yelling back at Pierre, trying to defend herself, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Marya wished she could run over to her and hug her.

“And _you!_ ” However, Pierre’s voice had risen very loud when he turned to Marya, “Marya Dmitryevna. I don’t think _anyone_ would have thought in a million years that you would do such a thing. And with a _married woman!_ Where are your morals that you used to hold to so close?! Or did my slut of a wife take those from you too?!”

Marya’s face went red hot, and she couldn’t tell if it was from embarrassment or rage. But even so, she couldn’t stand listening to someone talk about Elena like that.

“Pierre, its not...” But she trailed off, unsure of what to say, “I’m sorry,” She whispered quietly.

“No, you’re _not sorry_ you’re-” he paused, then his voice lowered, “that’s it,” and he took off towards the kitchen. “This is the reason I came over here anyways,” he opened a drawer.

“Pierre, no!” Marya yelled after him, “No, you don’t know what you’re doing,”

“Marya, _you_ were the only friend I had. The only person that I thought was left in the world who actually _cared_ about me. _Loved_ me.”

Marya’s eyes widened at that statement, and Elena walked down from the stairs. Her voice seemed so small, “Pyotr-”

“ _You shut the hell up!_ Don’t you dare try and tell me you care about me!” He boomed at her. “You have never shown me even an _ounce_ of love or compassion in your life!”

Elena was starting to get her fire back, “Well, you haven’t exactly made it _easy_ for me to do so!” She said through tear clouded eyes. Pierre reached into the drawer and picked up a large knife. Marya knew he was planning on using it on himself, but the look of utter fear on Elena’s face when she saw him grab it was enough to make her heart ache.

“Pierre, put the knife down!” Marya yelled.

“Why should I?! What is honestly preventing me from stabbing myself?!” He yelled back with tears in his eyes. Elena’s eyes widened at the realization of what he was planning to do and her hands flew up to cover her mouth.

“Don’t do it, _Please!_ ” Elena ran over to him, grabbing his arm. But he had already made up his mind.

“Pierre, come on, we can talk through this!” Marya said, wanting more than anything for this all to stop.

“Yeah, like i’m gonna talk with _you_.” And with that, Marya was silent.

“I know you’re not gonna listen to me,” Elena started, “But you’re making a _huge_ mistake. I-I know it might seem... _hard_ right now-”

“Yeah, and you’re the reason that my life is so hard to live in right now! Hélène, how many excuses have you made up to get out of sleeping with me? And then only for me to find out you’re fucking half the population of Moscow, my best friend included?! Clearly I must be the worst person on this planet if i’m not good enough for _your_ standards” He took the knife and tried to bring it to his chest, but Elena grabbed his wrist to stop him.

“Do you want to have sex with me? Is that what this is all about?” Elena asked, raising her brow.

“No,” Pierre said. “Well, yes, I do, but, Elena, more than anything I just want you to _love me._ ” They both froze for a moment. She looked him straight in the eye, her face softening slightly, and she kissed him, wrapping her arms around his neck. Pierre was reluctant to give in to her kiss at first, but eventually melted with her touch, dropping the knife in the process. Elena opened her eyes and looked at Marya, who was standing on the other side of the room, and gestured to the knife. Marya got the hint and quickly but quietly walked over to where the knife was on the floor, but before she could grab it, Pierre pulled Elena down to the floor with him, reaching for and grabbing the knife again. “But you’re never going to be able to love me, Hélène.” He said somewhat matter-of-factly, “Because you’re in love with someone else.” He glanced at Marya.

Elena blushed deeply, and she looked at Marya as well, hoping she would say something. But she didn’t, she just continued to hold the gaze between them.

Pierre lifted the knife and in one quick motion, stabbed it into himself, and then pulled it out and put it in Elena’s hand, giving her a wicked stare directly in her eyes. Marya and Elena both screamed at the same time. “Pierre! What have you done!” But it was over, Pierre Bezukhov was dead. Elena was now holding him in her arms, getting blood on herself. Marya was standing a few feet away, unsure how to react, still in complete shock.

They stayed like that for a while, no one daring to move, no one daring to say anything, until Elena spoke up quietly.

“Marya,”

Marya looked at her, fully taking in the situation. Elena was sitting on the floor, covered in blood, with Pierre’s lifeless body draped over her, _holding a knife._ The knife that Pierre made sure to put in her hand.

“Marya,” Elena’s voice was laced with terror, “It looks like I murdered him.”


End file.
